this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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