C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
