I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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