i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you didnt know i had herpes?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
