Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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