Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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