I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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