So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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