she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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