another moral hangover. fuck.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
