I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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