you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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