Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
