my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Found your dick twin last night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
