This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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