At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
God, you're like boner-b-gone
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
