my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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