Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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