Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you http://tfl.nu/pqp2
  Replies (29) Good night (1370) Bad night (2159)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone. http://tfl.nu/c0ys
  Replies (33) Good night (3969) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work. http://tfl.nu/vmme
  Replies (15) Good night (1087) Bad night (3437)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding http://tfl.nu/srhr
  Replies (12) Good night (5421) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine. http://tfl.nu/e72g
  Replies (25) Good night (8454) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later" http://tfl.nu/6byl
  Replies (14) Good night (7482) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol. http://tfl.nu/kdb1
  Replies (21) Good night (1149) Bad night (8703)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer. http://tfl.nu/cz4h
  Replies (8) Good night (4448) Bad night (2013)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here. http://tfl.nu/e0yb
  Replies (6) Good night (3257) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl. http://tfl.nu/yy2b
  Replies (20) Good night (2948) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk." http://tfl.nu/peq8
  Replies (9) Good night (2565) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list http://tfl.nu/7gq6
  Replies (4) Good night (1236) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie? http://tfl.nu/rubz
  Replies (3) Good night (1732) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa. http://tfl.nu/kz18
  Replies (3) Good night (1885) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me. http://tfl.nu/xyna
  Replies (7) Good night (3679) Bad night (640)

Randomize