smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Good thing I've started drinking again