if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
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I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on