Got a toothbrush?
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week