Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.

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(916): My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded. http://tfl.nu/57ez

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(517): View more from Michigan

when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.

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(517): when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch. http://tfl.nu/wqdf

Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (3157)
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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.

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(302): I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI. http://tfl.nu/3vpl

Replies (42) Good night (885) Bad night (7264)
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(407): View more from Florida

this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

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(407): this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god. http://tfl.nu/34d8

Replies (65) Good night (13614) Bad night (812)
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(571): View more from Virginia

She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.

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(571): She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/q72a

Replies (24) Good night (1545) Bad night (3684)
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(718): View more from New York

You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?

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(718): You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish? http://tfl.nu/wvgn

Replies (28) Good night (8625) Bad night (1438)
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(248): View more from Michigan

first off, his name is dougie. strike one.

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(248): first off, his name is dougie. strike one. http://tfl.nu/yrg3

Replies (22) Good night (1035) Bad night (4601)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.

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(203): They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court. http://tfl.nu/8rt0

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.

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(267): I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/0qfz

Replies (25) Good night (5427) Bad night (1073)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.

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(410): Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on. http://tfl.nu/o94m

Replies (15) Good night (4557) Bad night (1295)
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(817): View more from Texas

Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.

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(817): Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night. http://tfl.nu/bkam

Replies (7) Good night (2059) Bad night (915)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.

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(304): I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one. http://tfl.nu/3uie

Replies (16) Good night (741) Bad night (1410)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?

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(856): I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life? http://tfl.nu/hhin

Replies (4) Good night (332) Bad night (612)
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(775): View more from Nevada

It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers

(702): View more from Nevada

Real life dumb and dumber

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(775): It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers (702): Real life dumb and dumber http://tfl.nu/6nu9

Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (340)
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(317): View more from Indiana

This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.

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(317): This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3. http://tfl.nu/b4xj

Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (401)

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