Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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