On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
