Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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