I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
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There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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