Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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