Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I will die if light touches me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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