we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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