She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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