Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
time to smoke my breakfast
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
