You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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