he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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