don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
