Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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