I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
