Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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