I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
