Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.