I murdered the dance floor call the cops
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Panties = found
Randomize