My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
sex in a hospital.. check
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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