google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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