garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
