is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize