Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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