Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
