How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
