Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
