my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
