Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
