Define "chronic" masturbator.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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