I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize