as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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