I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize