Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
