My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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