we're blogging at a bar
literally had 100 drinks last night.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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