i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
